Video: A woman’s experience going out on her own
An American woman, in our view, has revealed a huge problem with single men in 2022: device dependence. The woman, who has recently moved cities for work and is done with dating apps, has created a series of TikTok videos in which she goes out on her own and records what’s going on.
This was TikTok user Angelica explaining each New Year’s resolution – to swap dating apps for singles. However, her first night alone was a disaster. why? She didn’t talk to anyone and ended up crying after having a “very hard” night.
Angelica walked through a beer garden filled with people hanging out with their friends and walked in. Then she said, “Well, that wasn’t good and it was a little awkward. I’ll see if I can find somewhere else to go.”
Then Angelica went to a jazz club, where she did not have a good time because it was too crowded. “It won’t go as planned,” she said. “I don’t know what I was thinking [would happen]. I honestly thought I would meet people. The jazz bar was very crowded, there was no place to sit. I’ll keep trying but that was really hard.”
She received streaming support online, with many social media users praising her for her courage and expressing their sympathy for her. The video has been viewed more than 1.5 million times.
“This is actually remarkably gritty,” one TikTok user wrote. “I’m sorry the night didn’t end the way I wanted it to, but I’m really proud of you for trying.”
Another suggested: “Bring a notebook when you go, and write down how you feel at the time. It will give you something to do at the bar and help with emotions.”
Another wrote: “I was going out alone the whole time.” “The key is to avoid crowded bars for obvious reasons, try a small cocktail bar or dive bar on weekdays.”
Other suggestions included: “I’ve heard I go to hotel bars where you’ll meet people who travel for work so they can be solo” and “Go to a dive bar and get a book! Sometimes I do crossword puzzles on my phone and [if] I want to talk to someone I ask to help me.”
Angelica Karam seemed to resonate with a lot of people in her video, posting a follow-up analysis where she reflected that she “didn’t set an intention for the night” and realized that “meeting people and enjoying your own company are two opposing ideas”.
“I could start conversations with people,” Angelica said. “I had the opportunity but I was so nervous and so embarrassed to be out on my own to talk to other people. I just thought people would come to me and start the conversation…but I could also just sit in the cute little bar I went to and have a cocktail by myself and enjoy my own company.”
The second thing Angelica pointed out is that if you want to take yourself on a date, you need to “do the things I expect a date will do for me – make reservations, make a backup plan. When I go out, I’m there to enjoy my own company, so if I meet people and have conversations, then I decide whether to spend time with them.”
This idea of getting out of dating apps and taking solo adventures to meet people is an attractive proposition for many singles. But since it’s inconvenient, many don’t. A recent DMARGE survey using the Insights Box, for example, indicated that only a minority of people believed that online apps made dating more fun (32% of men surveyed agreed with the hypothesis, and 19% of women surveyed agreed. on the premise).
The study also showed that many of us feel more comfortable using dating apps because they are convenient. But the downside to this is that – if there are tales like Angelica’s to go through – it becomes difficult to meet people in person, with fewer people expecting or intending to meet a potential date or connection when they go out.
Contrary to what a lot of people think, a lot of single people want to engage in a night out—as long as it’s in a respectful way (something we spoke at length with relationship expert and Bachelor’s counselor Samantha Jane).
Arguably, that’s the big problem with single guys (and single people in general, not just guys) in 2022 – they’ve become too dependent on the device. If this sounds like you, solo adventures might be a good way to solve it.
Related: I stood up. It turned out to be the best date of my life
Whether you agree or not, Angelica seems intent on giving it a shot, telling followers: “I want to go to more than just bars” and bent on doing one intentional solo adventure a week.
As she told followers, on the topic “Why Single Dating?” , she doesn’t think it’s a sex-specific experience, but it “really happens in the late twenties and early thirties, with this shift in people moving in with their partners, moving for jobs, living in new cities and not knowing anyone, and it’s very difficult to meet people At this age than in your early twenties.”
She also says that it’s not necessarily only beneficial for single people: “Nor do I think it’s a really defining experience of the state of the relationship, it’s a journey of self-love and independence because even when you get into a relationship it’s important to do things for yourself.”
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