In a post-Fifty Shades of Gray world, kink (and kinky sex toys) is arguably more mainstream than it’s ever been. Of course, it’s always been normal on some level—studies show that nearly half of all adults have had at least one kinky desire before. It’s possible that number is even higher, since not everyone feels able to own up to their fetishistic proclivities.
Of course, like sex toys in general, being kinky is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s actually a perfectly healthy and relatively common expression of human sexuality—as long as you have good consent practices in place, like pre-negotiating what you’re going to do in any given session and picking a safeword before you start.
One of the things that can make BDSM feel intimidating is all the “equipment” associated with it. If you’ve ever seen a movie or TV show that depicted a dominatrix or other explicitly kinky character, odds are good that they were in a room decked out with floggers, leather harnesses, sex furniture, and other kinky sex toys. That stuff can be scary at first blush, but don’t worry—there are lots of beginner-friendly toys out there that make getting into BDSM a breeze. Here are some of our favorites.
The Best Beginner-Friendly Cuffs
Metal handcuffs can cut off your circulation, while leather ones often take too long to put on, especially in the heat of the moment. These strong-yet-stretchy silicone cuffs, on the other hand, are super comfortable and easy to slip on or off in a hurry.
The Best Full-Body Bondage Set
Cuffing someone’s wrists and ankles to the bed can make them feel thrillingly vulnerable, and this nifty bondage set will let you do just that. Its long straps slide underneath your mattress, so the attached cuffs are always close at hand when you need them.
The Best Beginners’ Bondage Rope
Rope bondage—an art form which originated in Japan and is also known as shibari or kinbaku— can be a deeply intimate, connective way of getting kinky with a partner. This rope is made of soft cotton for a smooth glide against the skin. There are lots of great rope bondage books, videos, and classes out there that you can learn from, but just make sure to always keep a pair of safety shears nearby in case of emergencies!
The Best Blindfold
This is technically just a sleep mask and was not designed for kinky purposes, but it’s the best blindfold out there nonetheless. The adjustable strap fits multiple head sizes, the contoured shape truly keeps light out, and the convex eye cups are amazingly comfy.
The Best Beginner-Friendly Ball Gag
The helplessness and mild embarrassment involved in wearing a ballgag is hot for lots of kinkssters. This set is well-suited for newbies: it comes with three differently-sized balls so you can find your perfect fit, and each one has holes in it to help you breathe more easily.
The Best Nipple Clamps
These clamps are adjustable, so you can make them looser or tighter depending on your pain tolerance. Try tugging on the chain periodically during sex for a burst of exquisite pain.
The Best Beginners’ Paddle
Even if you’ve never tried impact play before, this faux-leather paddle is easy to wield, especially with the attached strap looped around your wrist. It can elicit lots of different types and intensities of pain, too, depending on how you swing it.
The Best Beginners’ Crop
If you’d prefer an impact implement that’s a bit more delicate or precise, this heart-shaped leather crop is a cute choice. Crops can feel great on pain aficionados’ butts, thighs, and other broad, fleshy spots.
The Best Beginners’ Wartenberg Wheel
Although it was originally developed as a medical device for testing nerve reactions, today the Wartenberg wheel is also used by kinky folks for sensation play. Roll the spikey wheel across a partner’s skin to produce a prickly, tickly sensation that many people enjoy.
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